Twin Flames - Abiding in Awareness
After we awaken...
I wanted to write a little more about what happens after we awaken. What I specifically wanted to address is the sense of habitual seeking that can continue. Like many of us, I’ve been lucky enough to experience some of what I shall call the bigger moments - for want of a better description - where the sense of my true self was so huge, so vast, so humbling, that I was brought to my knees with the bliss of it all, overwhelmed by the freedom that came from this grace. Freedom such as losing attachment to material things and particular outcomes. And the most powerful freedom of all - the recognition of the presence of my truth also being the presence of my twin's truth - resulting in a new detachment from physicality and surface characters and thoughts.
Part of the ocean...
But, because these big moments are so profound, there can be a tendency to overlook the constant peace that is present and accessible in every moment, and to instead keep seeking and waiting for the big moments - for the hallelujahs. But in reality, every moment is an hallelujah, no matter the difference in shade or volume. It is still the same thing. A stream is part of the ocean. Water is water, whether it’s a teaspoonful or a cupful. Just as beingness is beingness - always. When we give ourselves over to the current of our consciousness, we learn that the moments when the ocean is perfectly still - and we’re floating in the sweet peace of being supported by our own awareness - mean just as much as the roar and momentum of the huge wave that lifts us up. A big moment is not a 'next awakening' or a 'truer awakening.' There can only be one awakening because there is only one consciousness, but within that awakening we experience an eternal unfolding which has no end.
My point is that everything is perfect. The leaving. The staying. The remembering. The personality. The pain we fell into. And consciousness, too, is perfect just the way it is. It doesn’t need a fanfare or fireworks to declare that it is here, now. It isn’t restricted to churches or consecrated ground. It is found in us. Because it is us. It wraps us in all kinds of loveliness, but it is present in every moment, even when it’s gentle. Even when it isn’t loud. Whispers are honest too. All that matters is that the voice is authentic. And when sadness or anger or doubt pass through that peace - since the peace is the container of those arising’s, it remains ever-present and available. It doesn’t leave. The ocean remains even as the driftwood passes over the top of it. If it didn’t, we would simply disappear.
Lost in translation...
We all arrive home in different ways, having lived through different stories. And in truth, none of this matters. It doesn’t matter if you awoke at the summit of a mountain or in your kitchen. It doesn’t matter if it took you ten years to awaken and your friend a holy instant. It doesn’t matter because the details are irrelevant in the light of our consciousness. The most beautiful thing we can do with our awakening is not to dissect it and compare it, but to embody it - to just be. We can’t translate it anyway - not truly, nor can we accurately express the actions we take due to abiding in our truth. It’s not that our experiences get lost in translation, the truth is we never know the actual reality of another person’s experience, no matter how carefully they may convey themselves.
Reflections of the beholder...
By way of comparison, I would explain it like this; a while ago I was reading film reviews written by the general public about one particular film, and I noticed that half the reviews said the film was diabolical, whilst the other half proclaimed it to be a work of pure genius. There was no halfway. They either loved it or hated it. I realised, then, that the film in itself was simply what it was - a neutral creation - and that the reviews were not actually about the film. The reviews were reflections of the beholder. They perceived the film through the filter of their personality, their life experiences, their conditioning etc., and their individual summary of the film was about their own story and not neutral at all.
This understanding applies to all areas of our life - not only in regards to our perceptions of one another - but to our personal awakenings and our articulation of them. We verbalise our stance and another person interprets an alternative meaning. It’s not that we failed to express ourselves clearly, but since everything and everyone is a mirror, our words act as yet another mirror for someone else’s experience. They believe they’re perceiving our experience, but in actuality they’re seeing their own. (And vice versa.)
A projected story...
All we ever have of another person is a perception of them. We see an image we’ve created in our mind that bears little or no resemblance to reality. But since every person and every event is a mirror, the picture we see is always our own. Akin to the film, it is our projected story. And in a further paradoxical sense, it then becomes our perception of their perception of us, which is like walking through a hall of mirrors failing to recognise that every face we see is our own. Though this may sound limiting, it’s a beautiful thing to comprehend, because it means that everything leads back to us. It always has. The entire time we’ve been here, every single story has been written by us. Words have always been words. Films have always been films. Books have always been books. And people have always been people. Within their depths, we may have distinguished ugliness where someone else found beauty - or perhaps we perceived limitations whereas another discovered freedom, but all we ever really witnessed was our own story superimposed over somebody else’s.
Time after time...
We are forever witnessing our own projection, time after time, person after person, film after film. It’s an act of glory, really, knowing that everything we perceive is a clue to where we are currently abiding. And the pinnacle of this mirroring is with our twin. It’s the greatest of gifts - to be shown the truth of our soul within another, as well as to be presented with that which we are not.
Your twin was the brightest of torches, and the light was radiant - until it cast its attention on that which you wished to stay hidden. But the light came to free you from your illusions, not to highlight them for shame or suffering’s sake. And since we were always beholding our own reflection, we shone the torch in our own eyes. We did this because we were ready to remember. We chose to face the darkness in order to reclaim the light.
And maybe that’s when we truly find our peace - when we understand that darkness is just as much of a gift as the light, and a calm sea is just as important as a wild one. Little or big waves, it’s all the same ocean of consciousness. All that really matters is that we're abiding in truth.
